Letter to Scott May 2004

5/28/2004 Dear Scott, I have a few thoughts I want to share with you. The milestone you have reached has given me much to think about, many memories which span all your years. As you well know, I'm not one to express my feelings very often, even more so if it means publicly being emotional - perhaps a product of my upbringing where it was very clear that guys don't cry. Well, public or not, as your father I've had a number of reasons to have tears in my eyes. Weeks after moving in our old, new to us, home in Saint Phillippe, you were born. As I didn't get a lot of sleep at night those days, you and I spent many an evening catching a nap in my chair, the little butter-ball of a baby that you were, cradled in my arms - a feat we began at the hospital just after you were born. Your first Christmas came quickly, and one of the presents we received came from the mother of a childhood friend, it included a poem about having a son. The wording is long forgotten but I clearly remember it invoking thoughts of the privilege I would have in being your father, watching you grow, and being there to guide you into being a man. The awe I felt as I realized the precious gift God had given me overwhelmed me at the moment, to the point I had trouble finishing reading the printed words. The Sunday we presented you to the Lord, at your baby dedication, underscored my desire to see you grow up to serve the Lord. To me it didn't matter what you would grow up to be, only that you would come to faith in Jesus Christ and serve Him. The days of catching a nap together all too quickly gave way to you becoming a forceful toddler. I saw much of myself in you as you exhibited your strong-willed ways. Yet you learned - as I did about being a father. You finally learned to stay in bed and your mother and I didn't die of shock from your late-night excursions. Suzy recovered from being beat over the head with stick, and I mercifully got to replace my glasses instead of reenacting the downside of the story of Goliath (perhaps this is why you later took to soccer and not baseball?!). The trying moments, when it was a test of your will against mine, showed me just how much I needed to rely on God... more than once I had to walk away to search for that self-control only God gives. I never got to the point of shedding tears, even in frustration; it seemed I saved those for moments of joy. Hearing you pray as a child, reciting the first verses you learned, and hearing you testify that you had come to faith - these things moved me the most. Everyone at your baptism saw only a proud father as I had the privilege of baptizing you - the first baptism I ever did. As usual I kept my emotions in check until a time by myself. I wouldn't trade for a moment the circumstances that the Lord took us through, enabling me to see you grow academically, to gain a love of books, and so much more. Spending much time traveling together gave us much time to talk about people, places, history, and to see so much as well. Having someone to play the occasional game of chess with, first spotting you a queen or more, to having to fight to win an occasional game are moments I'll always remember (even when you ganged up on me in four-player games as well!). It still brings a smile to my face remembering that chess pro you blindsided with a stalemate in Virginia as a pre-teen. Your teen years have gone by the fastest for me, mostly because I have perhaps enjoyed them the most. Seeing you grow in your faith, serve the Lord in camp and inner-city ministry, and develop (and act on) your own convictions has been great. The middle of the night discussions on matters of doctrine to me has been the highlight of my entire ministry. Being able to have common interests in other diverse things from music to rappelling has also been a blessing to me (and I've settled for the fact that you use computers, though never learning how to program them!). Just this past year, watching you teach your peers, one night brought another of the moments where I chose to be alone with my emotions. You, having the God-given strength to stand for what you believe, brought back memories of my failure as a teen to even know what I believed, much less act on it. God has answered my prayers! I write this now, often having to pause because of tears. Why? Not because I'm sad, rather because I'm proud. Proud of what you have become. The little baby I once held has long since grown to be a man. It's inevitable and even desirable that you will leave home, continue your academic pursuits, and begin a career as the Lord leads and enables. Along those lines, I hope to see the fulfillment of another prayer I've prayed many times, even as you were still a child, that you will find the special woman that God was preparing to be a godly wife for you. I truly believe you will be in fulltime Christian service no matter what you do for a living. This is because I see the Lord at work in your life. I hope that the future gives us time to get together, maybe play a game of chess or two, and most of all to talk of our common faith. Let me end with a few pieces of advice, almost all of it given to me over the years by other godly people (you'll likely recognize what comes from me)... If you can do anything else for a living, do it. But if you feel compelled to preach and teach then do it with all your heart. In the midst of a pressing need to talk about issues, topics, and life's rabbit trails, never lose track of what you are teaching. If the focus isn't Jesus it's a waste of time. You'll never regret the time you spend with friends and your family; you will regret putting "good" things first. Have friends everywhere, and treasure the one or two with whom you can unreservedly share your heart. Make sure that one of those special friends is your wife. God is Sovereign and in control... remember this when everything is (or seems to be) going wrong, as it most certainly will by times in your life. Lighten-up. Life is too short and ulcers to easy to take things too serious. Choose your battles wisely. Laugh a lot. [You're never lost, you're only exploring!] Life is subject to change on short notice... so make the most of it! Christian ministry is an adventure... live it like one. The Canadian style man-type hugs have been few - and perhaps even scarcer, the words expressing my pride in who you are. Know this; I love you and am proud of you and will be proud of you. No matter what you do or where you go, you are my firstborn... my son. Serve the Lord with all your heart. With Love, Dad