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RESPONSIBILITY |
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Our Heavenly Father's example should be the standard by which we live. Yet, these days it appears that we think we know better than Him. Not really?! Consider the area of responsibility — in specific, regarding children. Now, for the record, this is an article addressing Christians. The world, quite naturally, could care less about any Biblical example (see 1 Corinthians 2:14, a mark of the unsaved is an indifference to God's word). Incidentally, I know that I'm going to be treading on toes here. It's dangerous business talking about how people raise children, even when done with generalities. As soon as anyone sees their self in this, the quick response is, "who does he think he is in telling me how to raise my kids?!" The bottom line response is this, it's not what I say — it's what God says that matters. Wherein it appears to be any of my opinion, please disregard. Wherein it is God speaking, heaven forbid that we disregard.
What is responsibility? A dictionary definition reads:
The related word "responsible" sheds more light...
As such, these definitions are correct from a humanist standpoint, but as I've already said, this is from a Christian perspective. In that light, a definition of responsibility could be condensed to this.
Likewise, "responsible" should be so defined...
Consider many Christian homes today where children are given responsibility that is undeserved and unearned. The common thought is that children should be exposed to circumstances that require them to be responsible before they are ready for that responsibility. Specific circumstances abound: Children exposed to music, television shows, and movies, all filled with thing that are morally and spiritually objectionable, but the child is supposed to be responsible enough to know what is right and wrong. The common response here is, "well there's only a few bad things in [fill in the blank]." This, in fact, doesn't change the issue at hand. Even if there's only one objectionable thing, it is placing the responsibility of determining whether it's right or wrong on the child. Circumstances in many school classrooms call for the same responsibility being placed on the child. Again, the common response is, "they'll be better for it, if they make it through rather than being sheltered from the real world." This too, doesn't change the issue of placing improper responsibility on the child.
Even the secular world knows better than this in some areas. Consider the business world. Is the fresh out of high school grad placed at the executive level of a corporation — "because it would be good for him if he makes it through." The fact is – barring the occasional exception – the harm that would befall the corporation, and subsequently the employee himself, would outweigh the remote benefit that someone would hope to gain. Time and again, it's been shown that the best way is to place that new recruit under someone else's authority until they have demonstrated their ability to exercise increasing responsibility. Those that don't show increasing ability are not granted more responsibility. Time is not necessarily a factor here either. If the employee has been there for twenty years and has shown himself to be irresponsible, he's not going to automatically get the promotion to a job entailing great responsibility.
Back to our children. Little Jane has been told what is right and wrong by those in responsibility over her – namely her parents (or so we could hope). She has had no, or little, opportunity to prove herself capable in those areas and she is placed into situations requiring her to be responsible for determining right and wrong. Should we be surprised when she messes up? Who's at fault? It's those that placed her in that situation. They alone were the ones given that responsibility. A common cry these days is that parents can't be responsible for what their children do, but that's not completely true — they've been given their responsibility by God. If we fail to train our children to be responsible, the buck has to stop with us.
Today many have turned this verse into... "Expose a child to all the ways he shouldn't go, and when he is old he might have learned to turn from it." The actual wording is usually, "My Johnny knows better than that — he can be a witness to those other kids." Sadly, those other kids usually end up being the really influence on little Johnny.
When is a child not a child? When they no longer think like children. That means that they have shown themselves to be responsible through demonstrating ever increasing responsibility. This takes time. Time under, and guided by, those who are responsible. I have met some 13 year-olds that are far more responsible than other 17 year-olds (and some teens that are more responsible than adults!). Too often, parents who have even attempted to teach responsibility to their children when young, somehow think that when their child becomes a teen they are miraculously completely responsible. (And, yes most teens seems to think they are, but this perhaps shows how irresponsible they actually are.) Those that have truly learned responsibility will tell you that they have much more to learn — always from those placed in authority over them and ultimately from God Himself.
Looking to Scriptures, from Old to New Testament, we see multitudes of examples showing the importance of teaching responsibility — and beginning at a young age. Abraham, the man of faith, was reminded of that task by God...
We need to instruct children continually in God's ways — this is the only way they will learn true responsibility. Abdicating that responsibility to others, much less those not holding to Christian beliefs (or those person and things blatantly incorporating immoral or godless views), courts disaster.
This passage (above), in Deuteronomy chapter six, makes it clear that parenting – training them to be responsible – cannot be an occasional or part time job. Adding any "but" here is to say that you know better than God.
Patient training and instruction in the Lord's ways, along with the parental wisdom that comes from experience, is the only prescribed way to teach responsibility. (In addition this training leads them towards God and godly ways — see 2 Timothy 3:13-17). Parents can quickly exasperate their children by throwing them into situations they are unprepared for and then holding them accountable for the end result.
Is responsibility important? Consider Jesus' parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30). Each person was given to according to his ability. What they then did, or didn't do, was judged (by the Righteous Judge) according to these abilities. God expects us to be responsible according to our abilities, why should we expect children to be responsible beyond their abilities and wisdom. To do so is to become unjust judges — especially when we chastise them for falling short.
The last example this article will consider is church leadership. God has clearly defined the marks of responsible leadership. If the individual does not meet those characteristics, God has said they are not to be placed into positions of responsibility over His people. Any church that ignores these standards does so at their own peril, and reaps what they have sown. So too any parent with children. Where the church is to build godly leadership through teaching responsibility in God's children, the parent is to do the same with their children. Is it any wonder that one of the qualifications of spiritual leadership is raising children well?...
Before God, and by His word, let's start being responsible. |
